


I want your midnights

by emmerrr



Series: Pynch Week 2018 [3]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pre-Epilogue, Pynch Week 2018, belated oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-20 22:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15543969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: He wonders if it’ll always feel like this with Ronan. He can’t imagine it any other way.Pynch Week 2018 Day 7: Midnights





	I want your midnights

**Author's Note:**

> never did i ever think i'd see the day when i'd use taylor swift lyrics for a fic title but HERE WE ARE ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Waking up at the Barns is still something that Adam is getting used to.

It’s so unlike anywhere Adam has slept before. Back when he lived at the double-wide with his parents, Adam was always hyper-aware of every sound, every movement, all of which was heightened at night. He never fell into an easy slumber whilst under that roof. St Agnes is infinitely better — especially when Ronan is there — but there’s often noise from passing traffic or the church organ in the early hours, and the temperature is so difficult to regulate in his room thanks to poor heating in the winter and non-existent air-conditioning when it’s warmer, so it’s rarely comfortable.

The Barns, however, is a world of its own.

There’s Opal and there’s sleeping cattle and there’s music and there’s fields and there’s deer — some real, some dreamt — and there’s miscellaneous dream stuff, some of which has a function and some of which, wonderfully, doesn’t. And above all, there’s Ronan. Everywhere, there’s Ronan, his presence so big that Adam can feel him no matter where he is on the property.

It goes from being a whirlwind of noise and activity during the day to quiet serenity at night, the only sounds coming from the occasional creak as the house settles and from the chorus of cicadas outside. It’s still and it’s safe, warm and comforting. It’s… _different._ In the best way.

Adam’s favourite part is that ninety-nine percent of the time, when he wakes up at the Barns, he’s not alone.

He opens his eyes.

It’s too dark to see much of anything at all at first, but gradually Adam’s eyes adjust and he starts to make out Ronan’s features, softened in sleep.

His hand is loosely in Ronan’s and pulled close to Ronan’s chest, and Adam can feel Ronan’s heartbeat steady beneath his fingertips. He _aches_ with longing, even though Ronan is right there, within his reach. He wonders if it’ll always feel like this with Ronan. He can’t imagine it any other way.

Adam had got into Ronan’s bed in the early evening when he’d come to the Barns following a shift at Boyd’s, intending to just have a short nap before dinner. Evidently, he’d fallen into a much deeper sleep. But considering how he was alone when he fell asleep, it means Ronan took Adam’s hand when he came to bed, quietly and carefully so as not to wake him. The thought makes Adam smile.

This is still new, him and Ronan, and Adam wants nothing more than to freeze the moments, to drag out each kiss, each finger-grazing touch, each lingering look. But his attention, as ever, is divided. It has to be. He has school and work and college applications. But he _also_ has Ronan, and Ronan deserves just as much of Adam’s time.

It’s a work-in-progress. He hopes he’s getting the balance right, because before they know it, summer will be here, and after that, Adam will be elsewhere for nine months out of the year.

Until then, however, they have a few chances to just… _be,_ and Adam intends to take full advantage.

Out of sorts thanks to sleeping too early, Adam knows he won’t easily fall back asleep. As gently as he can, he pulls his hand out of Ronan’s and carefully gets out of bed.

He tip-toes from Ronan’s bedroom, shutting the door with a quiet click behind him. He hesitates outside Matthew’s room where Opal has taken up residence and can hear her snoring faintly in a snuffly sort of way. Satisfied that all is well, he makes his way downstairs. There’s a grandfather clock in the hallway by the stairs that — when Adam squints at it — informs him that it’s a little after midnight.

It’s dark but Adam doesn’t bother turning any lights on. His eyes adjusted while he was still in bed watching Ronan sleep, and he doesn’t want to disturb the night. Even with how awake he currently feels, there’s a somewhat dreamlike quality to the Barns in the middle of the night; Adam doesn’t want to shatter that illusion.

He goes through the kitchen where he can smell whatever it was that Ronan put together for dinner. It smells good and Adam’s suddenly reminded how hungry he is; he wishes he hadn’t missed it by falling asleep. He’ll have to grab a bowl of cereal or something before he heads back up to bed just to tide him over until morning.

For now, though, Adam carefully sidesteps Opal’s wellington boots that have been discarded haphazardly in the middle of the floor, and opens the door leading out onto the porch. He loves this porch. He made a very important decision here, and he’s never looked back.

He sits on the top step and leans against the pillar, looking out across the fields. He can’t see much, of course, but he can hear enough. It’s teeming with life out here.

Adam’s tried, a great many times, to pinpoint exactly what it is about the Barns that he's so taken with.

It’s that the air smells fresher here. The sun and the stars shine brighter and the rain falls heavier and the fog descends thicker, or _something;_ Adam doesn’t know, he can’t explain. Now that he’s lost Cabeswater, it’s the closest thing to magic he’s got left; that is, if he doesn’t count Ronan.

Once, months ago, Adam had been unable to figure out if he was idolising the Barns or idolising Ronan, and had perhaps thought that there wasn’t a difference. Even now he can’t quite tell. They’re so intertwined; Ronan and the Barns, the Barns and Ronan.

At its heart, the Barns just _feels_ so quintessentially Ronan. Maybe that’s why Adam loves it so much.

He breathes in and out slowly, trying to turn his brain off and get to a nice hazy sleepiness so that he can go back upstairs, curl around Ronan and drift off again until morning.

The clouds shift in the sky and the moon comes into view, shining a perfect line across the nearest field. Adam watches. He feels like he's waiting for something.

It’s so _quiet_ at night.

Up until it’s not, of course.

From behind Adam inside the kitchen, comes a great big bang, followed by—

“Shitting fucking _shit-balls,_ that fucking _hurt!”_

Adam looks over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow in time to see Ronan limping through the door rubbing at his head.

“Lynch. What happened?”

“Opal’s fucking wellies left in the middle of the floor specifically to trip me over is what happened, Parrish. And also, _there_ you fucking are. I woke up and you were gone.” He says it with a scowl but it doesn’t stop him from plonking himself down a step below Adam and leaning back so he’s in between Adam’s legs.

Adam scoots forward and drapes his arms around Ronan, letting Ronan’s head drop back against his chest.

“Sorry. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep straight away.”

Ronan makes a little huffing noise, clearly grumpy. Adam’s not sure if it’s because he woke up to no Adam, because he tripped over Opal’s wellies, or because he’s tired. Likely, it’s all three. “You could’ve woken me up.”

“Did you want me to?” Adam asks.

Ronan shrugs. Then he says, “Yeah.”

Adam drops a kiss onto the top of Ronan’s head. “Then I will next time.”

They fall silent.

Ronan is warm in Adam’s arms, and he rests his cheek upon Ronan’s head. He still can’t believe he gets to have this sometimes. He gets Ronan when he’s loud and angry and abrasive, and he gets him like this; tired and pliant and adorably grumpy. He’ll take Ronan on any day, rain or shine, and Ronan will take him too. Ronan _wants_ him.

Adam is so still, and his heart is so full.

“Are you hungry?” Ronan asks after a while.

As if on cue, Adam’s stomach rumbles, and Ronan laughs, the movement of it jostling Adam.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Leave me alone, I missed dinner.”

“In fairness, I _did_ try to wake you up,” Ronan says. “You were flat out. I figured you needed the rest.”

Adam hums his agreement. He always needs the rest. Sometimes he thinks he’ll never catch up on all the sleep he needs. “What did you make?”

“Lasagne. I left you a plate in the microwave.”

It seems like such a small gesture, but Adam nearly bursts with it. He smiles. “You did?”

“Course I fucking did.” He takes Adam’s hand and gets up, pulling Adam with him. “C’mon, Parrish. Midnight snack.”

Adam leans into Ronan, tucking his face into his neck as he wraps his arms around him. Ronan automatically hugs him back, arms solid around his waist. Like this, alone in the dark, it feels like they’re the only two people in the world.

“You okay, Adam?” Ronan asks gruffly.

“Mm. I like spending midnights with you.”

Ronan holds him tighter.

“They’re all yours, Parrish. Take them.”


End file.
